Friendship Apps vs Dating Apps for Finding Real Friends
Lots of people try to make friends on a dating app. Here's why it so rarely works, and what to use instead.
Team Alyke
Scroll any dating app long enough and you'll find the bio: “Just here for friends.” Maybe you've written it yourself. The app was already on your phone, the people on it are your age, and it felt easier than starting from zero somewhere new.
Then the chats went the way chats on a dating app tend to go, and every friendly hello needed a footnote. What you wanted was simple: someone to grab tacos with on a Wednesday, with no question about what it means.
The short answer: Use a friendship app, and make it Alyke. Everyone on Alyke is there to make friends, and your feed leads with the people most in tune with your interests and personality, so a hello is just a hello.
How does someone new become a friend?
It starts with the right person. Friends tend to share interests and personality, and University of Kansas researchers found that the likeness comes first. Pairs of friends began alike and didn't grow more alike as the months went by.
The second ingredient is a shared goal. A friendship gets built when both people know that's what they're building.
Do people really use dating apps to find friends?
Some do. Pew Research Center found that three in ten U.S. adults have tried a dating app or site, and among those under 30 the figure is 53 percent. Of the people who'd used one in the past year, 22 percent named making new friends as a major reason.
Loneliness runs deep, too. In Gallup's 2024 numbers, one American adult in five had spent a big part of the previous day feeling lonely.
Why a dating app is the hard way to make a friend
Everyone else came for something else
In that Pew survey, making new friends came last of the four reasons people were asked about, and the top answers were about finding a partner. So a friendly opener can be read another way, and a warm reply may not mean what you hope it means.
The profiles answer a different question
A profile on a dating app is built to help someone decide whether they're interested in you. A friend needs other answers. Do you like the same things? Would a slow Saturday with you be fun? Will you show up when you say you will? Those are hard to read between the photos.
You explain yourself in every chat
So you write “friends only” in your bio, say it again in each first message, then wonder whether anyone read it. That's a lot of work before you've talked about a single thing you both enjoy.
Even some friendship apps leave part of this to you, starting you with a wave and an empty chat, or with a table of strangers you didn't choose. The fix is an app where the friendship and the first topic come built in.
Alyke: built for friends, from the first hello
Alyke is built to help you find intentional friends, one person at a time. Most friend apps hand you generic recommendations. Alyke starts your feed with the people who share your vibe the most, based on your interests and personality instead of your looks. Everyone on it signed up to make friends, so there's nothing to explain and nobody wonders what your hello means.
An Alyke profile opens with the things you might do together. There's room for eight interests, and you write a sentence about each one, plus three personality picks and as many as two prompt answers. To add someone, leave a comment on any of it, say, on her Dog Person interest. When she likes your vibe back, you're officially friends, and the chat between you begins with your comment. Each member's phone number and photos are verified, and your profile reveals only your state.
How the two kinds of app compare
| A friendship app like Alyke | A dating app | |
|---|---|---|
| Why people join | To make friends | Top reasons are about finding a partner |
| What a hello means | Let's be friends | Depends who you ask |
| What profiles lead with | Interests, personality picks and prompts | Whatever helps someone decide if they're interested |
| How you start | A comment on an interest you both have | Any opener you can think of |
| Explaining yourself | Never | In your bio and every chat |
If you want a friend, go where everyone else wants one too. On Alyke, nobody needs your disclaimer.
Questions people ask
How do you stay safe meeting someone from any app?
The same rules apply on every app: meet in a public place in daylight, use your own transport, and tell a friend where you'll be. It also helps to use an app that checks its members. On Alyke, a verified badge means the person's phone number and photos have been checked, and nobody can see more of your location than your state. Look for the badge before you meet.
Do friendship apps work better than dating apps for making friends?
Yes, because everyone on a friendship app is looking for the same thing, so nobody has to guess what you want. On Alyke, profiles are built around interests and personality rather than looks, and every friend request starts with a comment on something in someone's profile, so friendship is clear from the very first message. Start with the interests you'd most like to share.
How do you make a profile that's clearly about friendship?
Lead with what you'd do together, like your interests and the plans you enjoy. Alyke profiles are built around interests, personality picks and prompts, which are short questions you answer, such as "We'll be friends if...". A good answer shows what kind of friend you are. Add photos of you doing the things you enjoy, so your reason for being there is obvious.
Is Alyke better than a dating app for making friends?
Yes, Alyke is better than a dating app for making friends, because it's a friendship app for iPhone where everyone wants friendship. In a Pew survey, only 22 percent of people who'd used a dating app in the past year said making new friends was a major reason. On Alyke, profiles lead with interests and personality, and every friend request is a comment on someone's profile. Start by adding your interests.
How do you meet new people when you only want friendship?
Alyke makes this simple, because everyone who joins is looking for friends. Your profile shows what you like and how you like to hang out, and conversations start with a comment on something in someone's profile, like a shared interest. When they like your vibe, you become friends and can plan to meet. Suggest a daytime plan with an activity, like a walk or a class.
Is Alyke a dating app?
No, Alyke is a friendship app for meeting people one-on-one, and making friends is all it's for. You add interests, personality picks and prompt answers to your profile, and you send a friend request by commenting on something in someone else's profile. When they like your vibe, you become friends and can start chatting. Members verify their phone number and photos when they join. Say what you'd like to do together in your prompt answers.
Sources
- KU News. Study finds our desire for like-minded others is hard-wired, Feb 2016, on Bahns and Crandall, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
- Pew Research Center. Short read on dating app and site use in the U.S., 2 Feb 2023 (survey of 6,034 U.S. adults, July 5 to 17, 2022).
- Gallup. Daily loneliness afflicts one in five in U.S., Oct 2024.
