First Hangout Ideas for New Friends: 15 Plans for Any Budget
The first plan decides whether there's a second. Here are 15 easy ones, sorted by vibe and budget.
Team Alyke
You clicked with someone, at a class, at a friend's birthday or in a chat that ran past midnight. Somebody said “we should hang out,” and now it's on you to suggest something.
Coffee feels like an interview, and a concert is a lot for a first plan. What you want is something easy to say yes to, fun for both of you, with room to talk and a natural end. The plans below do all of that.
Which first hangout will you both enjoy?
The best first plan comes from interests you share and suits both of your temperaments. Two people who love food will happily spend an afternoon on a taco crawl. Put a quiet person in a loud bar and they'll spend the night saying “what?”
So think about how they are, too: chatty or low-key, competitive or happy to wander. Friends turn out to be more alike in personality than previously thought, so if you clicked, your idea of a good time probably overlaps.
Why does making plans with a new friend feel so hard?
Partly because everyone's out of practice. In 2003, Americans averaged 60 minutes a day of face-to-face time with friends. By 2020 it was 20, so the person you want to invite probably has a free Saturday too.
Making friends is still common, though: 46 percent of Americans had found a new friend in the year before the survey, and every one of those friendships needed someone to suggest the first plan.
15 first hangout ideas, sorted by vibe and budget
Doing things side by side helps: in a Yale study, chocolate tasted better when someone else ate the same one at the same time.
Low-key, for good talkers
- Farmers market, one rule: you each buy one thing to share. Cheap
- Bookstore blind pick: fifteen minutes to choose each other a book. Cheap
- Sunset from the best free view in town, gas-station snacks ranked out of ten. Free
- Museum free day: each pick a favorite piece and one you'd never hang. Free
Active, for restless types
- An easy hike neither of you has done, snack stop at the top. Free
- Public-court pickleball, where nobody's good the first time. Cheap
- Bowling, where bad scores make the better story. Cheap
- Kayaks on a calm morning: who paddles in circles first? Splurge
Creative, for makers
- A paint-your-own-pottery studio: paint a mug for each other. Splurge
- Thrift swap: style each other in half an hour, fitting-room fashion show after. Cheap
- Photo walk: ten shots each of one color, then compare. Free
Food, for anyone who eats
- Taco crawl: three spots, one taco each, one scorecard. Cheap
- Dessert-only dinner: two bakeries, one verdict. Cheap
- Cook something new to both of you, and eat it either way. Cheap
- A cooking class for two at one shared station. Splurge
How do you ask so they say yes?
Name the plan, the day and an easy out: “Market Saturday morning? No worries if you're busy.” Keep it to an hour or two, so a second plan is easy (more on keeping adult friendships going). Met online? Meet somewhere public, and read how to safely meet someone from an app.
You can't make people spend time with you, but you can invite them.
Jeffrey Hall, University of Kansas
Each idea works, but you're guessing what they'd enjoy and doing the inviting. It gets much easier when you can read what someone loves before you ask.
The easiest way to plan a first hangout
Alyke is built to help you find intentional friends, one person at a time. Most friend apps hand you generic recommendations. Alyke starts your feed with the people who share your vibe the most, based on your interests and personality instead of your looks. That makes planning the easiest part: before you meet, you know what they love and whether they lean Chill Hangouts or Energetic Spaces.
Each interest on a profile has a line about it. Comment on one to add them, and the moment they like your vibe, your comment opens your chat as friends. Pick a shared interest and the plan nearly writes itself.
Questions people ask
Is it safe to meet a new friend from an app for a first hangout?
Yes, if you choose the plan with safety in mind, like a daytime spot with people around, such as a food hall or a bookstore, and your own way there and back. Alyke verifies every member's phone number and photos, so if you met there, you can check for the verified badge on your new friend's profile before you go.
What should you text a new friend before you meet?
Confirm the plan the day before, mention one thing you're looking forward to, and say what you'll be wearing so you can find each other easily. On Alyke, each chat keeps the comment that started your friendship at the top, so sending your confirmation there keeps the plan and your shared interest in one place.
How do you get over nerves before hanging out one-on-one?
Pick a plan with something to do, like mini golf or a gallery, so there's always something to talk about, and agree on a rough end time so it doesn't feel open-ended. If you met on Alyke, you've already been chatting about an interest you share, so you're meeting someone you know a little.
Is there an app to find someone to do things with?
Yes, Alyke is a friendship app for iPhone that helps you find someone who enjoys the same things you do, from hiking to trying new cafes. Profiles list up to eight interests, each with a short sentence, so you can see what someone would enjoy before you plan anything. Look for an interest you both added, like Bowling or Karaoke, and build the first hangout around it.
How do you plan a first hangout with someone you met online?
Alyke makes planning easier because your chat starts with a comment on something you both like. Use that shared interest for the plan, choose a public place in daylight, and keep it to an hour or two. Every Alyke member verifies their phone number and photos when they sign up. If you're stuck for ideas, offer two plans the way the prompt "Would you rather: ___ or ___" does, and let them pick.
How does Alyke help you plan things to do with new friends?
Alyke helps you plan with new friends by showing what they enjoy right on their profile. Each interest they've added, like Concerts or Bowling, can carry a short sentence about it, and their prompt answers show how they like to spend time. Your chat also opens with the comment that started your friendship. Build the first plan around that comment, since it's the thing you already know you share.
Sources
- Association for Psychological Science. Couples, friends show similarity in personality traits after all, 11 Feb 2017, on Wu, Kosinski, Schwartz and Stillwell, Psychological Science.
- U.S. Surgeon General. Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, 2023.
- Survey Center on American Life. The State of American Friendship, June 2021.
- Yale News. Chocolates (and life?) sweeter when shared, 9 Sep 2014, on Boothby, Clark and Bargh, Psychological Science.
- Hall, J. A. (2018). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Summary: University of Kansas News, 6 Mar 2018.
