How to Make Friends After Moving to a New City, Step by Step
Settled in but still nobody to text on a Friday night? Your first month in a new city can fix that, one week at a time.
Team Alyke
The boxes are mostly flat now, and you've found the good grocery store. What you haven't found is anyone to call about the noodle place down the street. Your old friends live in a group chat that lights up after you've gone to bed.
You want a couple of people here who get you. Use your first month well and it can end with someone who fits and a plan on the calendar. Here's how.
Who turns into a real friend after a move?
When you're new, it's easy to befriend whoever is closest, like the coworker at the next desk. Some will stick. The ones who last tend to love what you love and have a personality that fits yours: the person who also wants a slow Sunday at the market, or gets as loud as you do at trivia.
Where you look decides who you meet. A study that followed new pairs of people found friends are similar from the very start, and time together doesn't make them more alike. Start where your interests take you.
Is it normal to feel lonely after moving?
It is, and you're far from the only newcomer. Nearly 12 percent of people in the U.S. moved in 2024, roughly one in eight, so your city is full of people still hunting for the good tacos. In a 2024 Gallup poll, one in five adults said they'd felt lonely through a big part of the day before.
People in your spot are looking, too. When researcher Jeffrey Hall studied how friendships form, he surveyed adults who had moved in the last six months and wanted new friends. You'll meet them in week one.
Your first 30 days in a new city, week by week
Friendship runs on hours: Hall found it takes about 50 hours together to become casual friends (see how long it takes to make a friend). A month won't cover that. It can put you in the same rooms as the same people.
| What to do | Why it works | |
|---|---|---|
| Week 1 | Sign up for one weekly thing you love, like a run club, a pottery class or a rec league. Say yes to every invite. | Strangers you see every week stop being strangers. |
| Week 2 | Become a regular at one cafe, gym slot or market stall. Learn one name and use it. | People talk to regulars. |
| Week 3 | Invite one person you've clicked with to one specific plan, like tacos after Thursday's run, or something from our first hangout ideas for new friends. | Friendships move fast once they move: Hall found people double or triple their time together within three weeks. |
| Week 4 | Follow up within 48 hours of a good talk, and suggest the next plan before the first ends. | A second plan turns one good evening into a habit. |
You can't snap your fingers and make a friend.
Jeffrey Hall, University of Kansas
The plan works, and it asks a lot: a month of walking in alone and the nerve to ask first. There's a faster way to that first person who fits.
The easiest way to make your first friend after a move
Alyke is built to help you find intentional friends, one person at a time. Most friend apps hand you generic recommendations. Alyke starts your feed with the people who share your vibe the most, based on your interests and personality instead of your looks. In a new city, that's the easiest start: you don't need to know anyone first, and you can begin on your own time with someone who already fits.
Pick a few interests and say something about each. Adding someone means commenting on one thing in their profile, like their hunt for the best tacos in town. If your vibe works for them too, you're friends, with the chat starting right under your comment.
Questions people ask
When does a new city start to feel like home?
Usually when there's someone to call on a Friday night and a weekly routine you look forward to. Both take a few months to build, so it helps to start in your first weeks. Alyke lets you look for someone who shares your interests in your first week, start chatting, and set up a coffee while you're still unpacking.
Is it safe to meet new people when you've just moved?
Yes, with a few simple habits. Meet somewhere public that's easy to find, like a busy cafe, tell a friend back home where you'll be, and get there and back on your own. Every Alyke member verifies their phone number and photos, and verified profiles show a badge, so you know the person you're meeting is real.
Do friendship apps work for people new to a city?
Yes, and they're especially useful when you don't know anyone yet, because everyone on them is open to meeting someone new. Alyke puts the people whose interests and personality are closest to yours at the top. To add someone as a friend, you comment on something in their profile, and if they like your vibe, your chat opens with that comment.
What app helps you make friends after moving to a new city?
Alyke is a friendship app for iPhone that helps you make friends after a move, starting with people who share your interests. You add up to eight interests, like Cafes or Hiking, and Alyke shows you the people whose interests and personality are closest to yours first. Profiles show only a state, never an exact location. In each interest's short sentence, mention that you're new and looking for a regular plan.
How do you make friends in a new city when you don't know anyone?
Alyke lets you start meeting people before you have a single local contact, by commenting on something in their profile. Each profile shows interests with a short sentence about each, three personality picks and prompt answers. When the other person likes your vibe, you become friends and the chat opens with your comment, so your first conversation is already about something you share. Aim to suggest a short first plan within your first two weeks.
Is Alyke good for people who just moved?
Alyke is built for meeting people one-on-one, which helps when you've just moved and don't have a circle yet. Every member verifies their phone number and photos, and verified profiles show a badge, so you know who you're meeting. Alyke Pro adds filters for interests and personality if you'd like to narrow things down. For your first meeting, pick a busy cafe in daylight that's easy for both of you to reach.
Sources
- U.S. Census Bureau. Migration and geographic mobility at a glance: American Community Survey 1-year estimates, 2024.
- Gallup. Daily loneliness afflicts one in five in U.S., Oct 2024.
- Hall, J. A. (2018). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Summary: University of Kansas News, March 2018.
- KU News. Study finds our desire for like-minded others is hard-wired, Feb 2016, on Bahns and Crandall, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
