Where to Meet New Friends as an Adult, Ranked by What Works
You can be around people all week and still have nobody to text on Friday. These are the places where strangers become friends, ranked.
Team Alyke
You see people all week: the barista who knows your order, the coworker who also dreads Mondays, the regulars who nod between sets. Then Friday comes, and there's nobody to text about the weekend.
What you want is somewhere a familiar face can turn into a friend who likes what you like and is happy you showed up. Some places make that far more likely than others. Here they are, best first.
Why are some places better for making friends?
The best places do two things. They put you around the same people again and again, since friendship grows out of time together. And they're there for something you love, because the friends who last usually share your interests and have a similar personality.
Where you look does much of that sorting for you. University of Kansas researchers found pairs of people out together in public were alike from the start and didn't grow more alike. People who click find each other, so go where your kind of people already are.
Is it normal to struggle to meet friends as an adult?
If finding them feels harder than it used to, you've got company. In a 2021 national survey, nearly half of Americans had lost touch with at least a few friends that year, yet 46 percent had made a new one. And 61 percent of adults call close friends extremely or very important to a fulfilling life. Plenty of people are rebuilding right alongside you, and every new friendship starts somewhere.
Where to meet new friends, ranked
Ranked on both: seeing the same people often, and a shared reason to be there.
| Why it works | What it asks | |
|---|---|---|
| 1. A weekly class, club or league | Same faces weekly, there for your thing. Clubs: 19% | Two months of evenings |
| 2. A regular volunteer shift | Same people each shift, for a cause you share | One fixed weekly slot |
| 3. Friends of friends | Someone who knows you both vouches. 40% | Asking, or hosting |
| 4. Work | Most common, 54%, but hours on the job count less | Lunch or after-work plans |
| 5. Your neighborhood | Regulars at your cafe or gym. 35% | Months of nods |
| 6. A friendship app | See what someone loves first. Online: 8% | Turning chats into plans |
| 7. A faith community | Weekly, values built in. 21% | Belonging already |
| 8. Bars, parties, one-off events | Crowds, rarely the same faces twice | Nerve, every time |
Why a class comes first
School is where 47 percent of people with close friends met one, and a weekly class is the grown-up version. Sit near the same person, suggest coffee after the third session, then turn an acquaintance into a friend.
Why volunteering is next
More than 28 percent of Americans volunteer with an organization, so there's a shift for nearly any cause. Two hours sorting donations beside someone shows you their temperament.
All of these work, and they take patience. Studies of how long it takes to make a friend put a casual friendship at about 50 hours together, and you still have to say hello first. If you'd rather begin with one person who already fits, there's a shortcut.
The easiest way to meet someone who already fits
Alyke is built to help you find intentional friends, one person at a time. Most friend apps hand you generic recommendations. Alyke starts your feed with the people who share your vibe the most, based on your interests and personality instead of your looks. Of every place on that list, it's the one where you know what someone loves before you meet, so it's the easiest start.
You pick your interests and add a line to each, say, your Saturday thrift route. When someone's line makes you grin, comment on it, and you've sent a friend request. Once they like your vibe too, you're friends, and that comment kicks off the chat, so a Saturday plan nearly makes itself.
Questions people ask
How do you choose between friend apps?
Look at how each app introduces you to people. A quick wave or a table of strangers picked for you still leaves the hard part, finding someone you click with, up to you. Alyke starts with that part: it puts people with your interests and a similar personality at the top of your feed, and every friend request is a comment on their profile. Compare them in best apps to make friends.
Is it safer to meet friends at a class or through an app?
Both are safe with the same habits: meet in a public place and keep the first hangout on your terms. A class puts you in a room full of people, while an app lets you learn about someone before you meet. On Alyke, you can check someone before you meet: a verified badge shows their phone number and photos were checked, and their profile shows what they love.
Should you meet friends in groups or one at a time?
Both, ideally. Groups are good for meeting lots of people, and one-on-one time is where friendships get deeper. In a 2021 survey, 46 percent of Americans had made a new friend in the past year, so plenty of people are open to it. Alyke is built for the one-on-one part, helping you find one friend at a time, and a friend request starts with a comment on an interest you both share.
What app can you use to meet friends if you don't have a club or class?
Alyke is a friendship app for iPhone that lets you meet new friends without joining a club or class first. You add your interests, such as Hiking, Gaming or Book Lover, and the feed shows you people whose interests and personality are closest to yours. To add a friend, you comment on something in their profile. Once you're friends, you can try a class or club together, which is easier with someone you already know.
How do you meet friends outside work and school?
Alyke gives you a way to meet friends outside work and school by introducing you to people who share your interests. Work and school are where most people met a close friend, 54% and 47% in one national survey, because they put the same people together often. You can recreate that: find someone on Alyke who shares a hobby, then turn it into a weekly plan.
Who is Alyke for?
Alyke is for anyone who wants new friends, one person at a time, especially people who'd rather meet someone who shares their interests than walk into a crowd. It's a friendship app for iPhone, and it's only for friendship. It suits people who just moved, finished school, work remotely or simply want a bigger circle. Fill in your interests with specific sentences, so the right people can find you.
Sources
- KU News. Study finds our desire for like-minded others is hard-wired, Feb 2016, on Bahns and Crandall, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
- Survey Center on American Life. The State of American Friendship, June 2021.
- Pew Research Center. What does friendship look like in America?, 12 Oct 2023.
- Hall, J. A. (2018). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Summary: University of Kansas News, 6 Mar 2018.
- AmeriCorps. Volunteering and Civic Life in America, 2023 data.
